


Underbelly: Field Promotion

by Timewaster123456789



Series: Underbelly [6]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Betrayal, Dark, Friendship, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Male Bonding, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:36:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29957628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Timewaster123456789/pseuds/Timewaster123456789
Summary: Collection of stand alone one-shots focused on Shuuhei, Kira and Momo.
Series: Underbelly [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1006056
Kudos: 3





	1. Defection

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Mistress](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13936434) by [thedrunkenwerewolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedrunkenwerewolf/pseuds/thedrunkenwerewolf). 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time-lapse fic of Hisagi's life from a kid to Tousen's death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment even if you have to flame I just honestly want to know what you think. I own nothing. Allusions to zanpakuto arc and the semi-cannon Honey Dish Rhapsody.

A young Hisagi looked up at Kensei-taichou, the consummate warrior cold and untouchable. Even as he admonished him for crying, Hisagi decided that the man was everything he wanted to be. Someone who wouldn't have felt fear, wouldn't have tried to run. As he got older he did his best to emulate his savior, to him the 6-9 meant protection, security.

He hadn't seen Kensei almost breakdown when Mashiro found the uniforms of their ten comrades, holding himself together because his squad was there and a captain had to be strong for their subordinates. He hadn't felt the fear that'd flooded his hero at the thought of a foe so dangerous as to take out ten soul reapers without issue or notice. Fear that he pushed aside only because protecting the Seireitei was more important.

x

The ninth division had long had a vision toward the improvement of the world. It was a little gift that Tousen left them. After his defection one could not help but, wonder what to do when their beloved leader essentially said that there wasn't anything worth saving. That the only path forward was burning it all to the ground and starting new. When Hisagi looked toward the future he saw nothing but, corruption. He raised his glass in a silent toast to his erstwhile mentor. Even in breaking the law he illuminated injustice. Hisagi turned his thoughts toward past battles he couldn't bring himself to contemplate future any longer.

Unfortunately wallowing wasn't an option as Tousen had also 'gifted' him with the captaincy of the ninth. Wanting to assert himself in his floundering, headless division he'd decided to come down hard and get control quickly with a harsh set of rules to restore discipline. He found himself on his back with a black eye and split-lip. Realizing his hubris, he chalked it up to a training accident, no repercussions. He was the only (acting) captain ever to have won a division's undying loyalty in a day.

Hisagi struggled to hold his squad together keeping up with all the work that Tousen had undertaken. At the same time he watched his best friend teeter on a perilous ridge between alcoholism and depression. He saw Momo in a pit of isolation and near catatonia and wished he could help but, he barely had time to sleep and train with all of the work the ninth had immediately following Tousen's defection. It was a good thing too, it was the bulwark between him and the pit.

x

Rangiku Drank with Kira and occasionally Hisagi when he had time. She would sometimes visit Momo when her captain was too busy. She'd sit there and drink, sometimes read to her and other times she'd just stroke her hair and do her best to act maternal though she had no instinct for it. Despite her usual aversion to work she didn't really mind picking up the pieces. At least it distracted her from Gin.

x

In the weeks following Aizen's defection he often found himself standing next to the grave of Tousen-tai…Tousen's friend. More often than not Komamura-taichou did the same. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they just kept companionable silence, mourning the man they'd called friend and mentor respectively.

Today Hisagi spoke, "You know the more I think about it, the more I realize that it was sort of inevitable. I mean how can anyone see the things we see, do what we do and never show anger. That much repression…it's no real surprise he snapped."

Komamura gave a low growl of assent, "He believed anger to be immoral, the root of all injustice." They were silent while Hisagi thought on that and wondered why he'd never seen that his captain was burdened so. He'd always seemed so collected, above it all.

"Komamura-taichou?" he asked on impulse and the captain turned his head waiting. "He kept asking me what the sky looked like, how many clouds there were, do you know what he meant?" he asked his voice getting shaky halfway through.

"No. Perhaps he was merely curious if you saw the world as…overcast as he does," the captain answered. Hisagi thought his voice caught a bit as well but, didn't say anything.

x

They had gone out for drinks to celebrate Hinamori's recovery from Aizen's stabbing. The stress of their new duties was apparent in the drawn faces of Hisagi and Kira. The mere fact the Hinamori was actually drinking attested to her state of mind. Rangiku for her part was trying to hit oblivion as fast as possible counting herself lucky to still have a captain to rant at her about it. It occurred to her with the strange obvious clarity that comes to the half-hammered that you didn't truly know who you were until you lost the crutches you leaned on. She glanced at her companions and saw a girl who'd been rejected by her first crush, a scared kid with self-esteem issues and someone who saw himself as far weaker than he was, thrust in to a job he didn't feel cut out for. As for herself she was lucky, very lucky Gin was cruel enough that she'd never relied on him.

x

Later he stared at his masked former captain in horror. He could feel it when he was at his lowest, the part of him that didn't want to be a crybaby little bitch, that didn't want to be scared anymore, the part that wanted _power_. The small whispering part of him that was almost envious of what ca…Tousen had done. A part that Tousen himself had taught him to fear, and he did, he was _terrified_ of that shadowy corner of his soul. When that little voice started getting louder Kira somehow always seemed to know. They would go out for drinks and the normally morose Shinigami would crack jokes and try with utter hilarious incompetence to hook him up with a chick. The voice would get drowned out by laughter. Not now though, now he stared at what Tousen had become horrified and envious and wishing for anything to drown out that voice.

Hisagi looked at the captain and saw the truth in his words. It was in his eyes even as he pledged acceptance to that friend, were something to happen to Tousen the wolf would be as empty and lost as he claimed. Hisagi didn't think he'd being doing much better, blinking back tears as he moved so his cap…former captain could get a better look at him. Blood sprayed his face and it took him a moment to register Aizen's killing blow. As Komamura-taichou screamed Aizen's name in fury Hisagi cursed the world and the man that could put such a look of murderous hate on the face of so goodhearted a soul. Be careful what you wish for he thought bitterly. The voice might be quiet but, that scream was burned into his memory.

As he fought over the Karakura replica and later when he mourned the fallen—yes even Tousen— he had no idea how close he'd actually come to his goal. All he knew was that being acting captain sucked ass.


	2. To Forgive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisagi struggles with his feelings toward Tousen, Kira and Momo after the defection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late BD gift for HisagiKirigakure (FFN), You've improved so much since we met. Everyone else please check out her work, it's well-written and original. 
> 
> Also I think the 'real Aizen' line came from TheDrunkenWerewolf so credit due and go check out her phenomenal 'Heirverse' series if you like subtext and horror in your fluff.

Kira. Hisagi had walked by the Third's barracks on his way to the Wolf Den, seen his old friend drilling his new squad. It'd been inspiring to watch. Kira, despite his timid attitude seemed to really be coming into his own as a captain and he was working hard to rebuild his shattered squad. It disgusted him, Kira made it look so fucking easy and Hisagi...well he just wasn't that strong. He groaned and reached for his sake.

He hated Kira in that moment. Kira wouldn't cry himself to sleep that night as Hisagi would. The Gotei were trained to withstand such things and Kira was steel wrapped in velvet despite what some might assume. Not pathetic like him. Kira wouldn't be getting wasted to forget, he was better than that, gentle and strong like all Shinigami aspired to be and almost none actually were.

He sighed at least he was trying unlike some—Momo—people he could mention, still in the hospital, still pining like a bitch. A familiar, vindictive little flash of superiority accompanied the thought and he wondered if he'd ever be able to think about her and not feel it. She was such a victim, poor Momo in love with a traitor, because it wasn't like he ever thought about Tousen. Like every goddamn fucking minute, who'd have thought you could miss a mentor so much. Every night, every training session he remembered something Tousen had taught him.

Hisagi felt a hand on his shoulder and jumped, hand on his sword but looked up to see Kira.

"What!" His conscience firmly pointed out that Kira was being nothing but sensitive and concerned and Hisagi had just slapped him down as Gin always had in the past. Hisagi took another shot and ignored it, he was listening to Kazeshini tonight. Besides Kira was bothering him not the other way around.

"Just wondering how you were." Kira sat on the stool next to him.

Hisagi tried to come up with a properly biting response and settled on, "How the fuck ya' think?"

Kira gave him a pitying smile and Hisagi almost punched him.

"Sorry dumb question. I just thought that maybe we could catch up it's been a while."

"Aren't ya' on duty s'like two ina afternoon."

Kira gave Hisagi a meaningful look that he had neither the desire nor capacity to decipher. "It's one o'clock and I'm on lunch."

"G'way."

Kira ignored him and ordered a chicken sandwich.

"Fuck. Off," Hisagi tried again with precise enunciation .

Kira sighed. "Please talk to me."

Hisagi groaned and stared silently down at the deeply scarred bar.

"What do you want me to say."

"Whatever's on your mind."

Hisagi snorted in derision.

"Okay point taken, but seriously it's been months since we just shot the shit."

"There's nothing to say. Besides I've been busy, we both have."

Kira laughed bitterly. "Yeah you're real busy."

"You know what I mean."

Kira sighed. "Yeah. God this is rough."

Hisagi blinked.

"Gin always said I was too soft. I want to prove him wrong but..." he trailed off with tears in his eyes.

"Gin was a fucking sadist besides you've handled it better than me," Hisagi admitted and took another drink.

Kira laughed weakly. "You've been the consummate shinigami, I'm a wreck."

Hisagi smiled though he felt like kicking himself for not seeing that Kira'd been struggling. "Makes two of us."

Kira smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. "Three."

"Momo can fuck herself!" Hisagi's lips raised in a snarl.

Kira's mouth fell open. "What the hell man."

"Come on. Are you really going to pretend she's an innocent victim in all this?"

"That's the whisky talking. She didn't asked to be stab."

"Yeah and it doesn't take this long for stab wounds to heal."

Kira gasped. "You don't mean that."

Hisagi signaled for a refill, laughing. "Everybody knows why the fourth is keeping her they're all just too polite to say it."

"And you what? Want a cookie for being a drunk dick?"

Hisagi frowned then shrugged, rage boiled inside him at the mere thought of her lounging in that sterile ward, waited on hand and foot, high on whatever psych drugs Mayuri had cooked up to who knew what effect. How easy it must be for her, no job to go to, no squad to worry about, no appearances to keep up. Her weakness on display for everyone to nurse away, a little bird with a broken wing.

"That bitch loves him even after..." He looked down and took a swig of his drink.

Kira sighed. "She loves the captain she knew, not the real Aizen."

Hisagi snorted. "You don't resent her at all?"

He shook his head. "I pity her...and you."

A wave of rage washed away Hisagi's instant disgust. He glared at Kira or tried to. he seemed to shift and blur every time Hisagi blinked.

"She doesn't deserve it!"

"I had it easy, Gin was an ass but you two—"

"Don't compare me to her!"

"God..." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Have you even visited her?"

"Fuck no!"

Kira rose his lip curled in disgust and laid cash on the bar. "Sober up man."

Hisagi glared after him as he walked out

X

The nurse led Hisagi into a sterile white room and locked the door behind him. He resisted the urge to shiver, looking everywhere but at the only furniture in the room. Finally he let his eyes settle on the white bed, then on the emaciated child that sat on it. That was what Momo looked like, not a fearsome shinigami or even a dutiful lieutenant but a child. Deep bags hung under her eyes, her hair hung loose to her shoulders and it struck him that perhaps Aizen hadn't failed to kill her after all.

He forced himself to approach her. "Hey Momo."

"Hey," she replied quietly, avoiding his eyes.

"So...enjoying your vacation?"

Momo looked up at him then and a ghost of a smile touched her lips. She patted the bed next her and the sheets crinkled. Paper. The thought of doing so turned his stomach but he accepted her invitation and sat down.

"The food's good."

Hisagi raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

For a moment he wasn't sure she'd answer but finally she said, "Yeah, it's good...they treat me very well."

He thought of a dozen vicious things to say but couldn't bring himself to do it. She wasn't a shinigami anymore, not in any real sense and he wasn't one to kick someone who couldn't fight back. In the end he just nodded.

She shrieked and shoved him, it was shockingly weak and even caught by surprise it barely moved him.

"Goawaygoawaygoaway!"

He stood up and backed away a bit, stunned.

"Just leave me alone."

"What'd I do?" he asked too confused to be angry.

"I th-thought you were different." Tears rolled down her pale face.

"Different?"

"Honest! Everyone does their little pilgrimage to poor little Momo. Be gentle, don't say the wrong thing. But they hate me." She swiped at her face and he saw her left wrist was bandaged.

He felt like shit, how could he have been angry at this broken thing? "They don't hate you Momo."

She sniffed angrily. "They should! You think I don't know why I'm here? Aizen's little slut, she'll go running back to him with all our battle plans. I thought you were different!"

"Momo...Look you made a mistake...I made a mistake too trusting Tousen. All you..." His throat tightened. "All you can do is learn from it."

"I don't deserve to. Look at all the people Aizen killed and I...I still love him," she said sobbing.

His hatred flooded back but he realized that he didn't hate Momo, he hated that she still cared for Aizen and that he still cared for Tousen albeit in a different way. His throat closed.

"It's like this roof and it protects you from everything but it's supported by pillars and the pillars break and the roof falls on you and you're just buried in the rubble," she spoke in a rush, half sobbing, then looked up at him like she was awaiting a death sentence.

A tear fell despite his best efforts to stop it. "I understand."


	3. Two Wolves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing. Birthday gift for HisagiKirigakure please check out her work. Takes place during a random non-canon battle against the remnants of Aizen's force after his defeat.

Kazeshini wanted pain, death. It wanted blood, his shadowy zanpakuto lashed out almost against his will but he knew deep down that the bloodlust, the cry for vengeance was bestowed upon the sword by him and not the other way around. In the moment Hisagi was the one out to destroy and Kazeshini was all too happy to oblige him. It sliced into the arrancar that was about to execute Rangiku from behind while she fought another and Kazeshini roared his pleasure. For the first time Hisagi truly acknowledge that the weapon's evil was a part of him.

' _Finally grew a spine eh Saggy?'_ Kazeshini cried in his mind and the old insult carried no bite. Apachi turned on him as Ukitake engaged Mila rose. He smiled, feeling blood run from the corner of his mouth a souvenir from a fraccion, it itched. He wanted blood from the bitch who'd torn his squad apart. Wanted her to pay for who she'd served, for trying to kill Rangiku. He snarled and lashed Kazeshini back as she dodged, he flicked wrist to cut its momentum mid-swing and change direction. The muscles in his forearm strained but he was rewarded as blood sprayed from her ribs.

"What will you do now?" she sneered. "That's not gonna work twice."

"You sure," he sneered back, hating her in that moment though normally he went out of his way to protect women. He flicked Kazeshini up, she dodged again and countered with a cero. He leaped out of the way and let the blast hide his own attack as Kazeshini shot down and sliced through her neck. He heard a quiet hiss of shock as her corpse hit the ground.

Rangiku cut another Fraccion down as Hisagi flash-stepped up. She turned smiling grimly.

"Zaraki-taichou would have fun. It seems there's no end to them," she said shaking blood from her sword in disgust.

"With these small fry? Not likely," Hisagi said cockily.

"Don't let my captain here you use that word," she replied with a shiver. Hisagi laughed. Rangiku paled and Hisagi followed her gaze his laughter choking off as he watched three Shinigami fall under the weight of the arrancar around them.

Rage flooded him, they'd defeated Aizen surely it was over now. But no the arrancar had banded together looking for revenge and he was back in the killing fields watching his friends and subordinates die.

He leaped towards the group, Kazeshini lashing around and wished that he didn't have his limiter. There hadn't been time to make another fake town though, the invasion had taken them by surprise. Fraccion and Numeros boiled from the garganta and Hisagi dove into the fray. The voice of his deceased former captain echoed in his ear.

"Shut up," he hissed as Kazeshini did its murderous work.

Through the spray of blood and the flames of his rage he was vaguely aware of Rangiku and a few others cutting into the mass. They were well out of his range though. _Good_ , he thought and lost himself in the killing and mutilation, vaguely aware of someone cackling. He assumed it was Kazeshini before he realized it was himself. He swept Kazeshini into another pack of hollows and heard a familiar voice yell in pain.

He leaped over the bodies to find Toshiro ghost white and holding one arm across his stomach. Toshiro took a step toward him and collapsed. Hisagi caught him and lowered him to the ground, he was bleeding profusely, almost cut in two and Hisagi quickly applied pressure.

"Medic!" Hisagi roared.

Kira rushed up, bleeding from a dozen slashes himself and took over. Hisagi stared numbly at the captain's wound clearly Kazeshini's doing and at his friend working desperately to heal the captain while his own cuts bled freely. Hisagi dropped Kazeshini, he wanted to break the damn thing. This wasn't what Shinigami were. They were supposed to bring souls peace. How had they strayed so far from their purpose? How had he strayed so far from his?

X

Toshiro awoke in a hospital bed with Hisagi leaning over him. Dry tear tracks streaked the boy's grimy face and Toshiro looked away.

"Really Hisagi compose yourself," he bit out, fighting the urge to throw up. Healing kido had always made him nauseous.

Hisagi gave a weak little chuckle and wiped his face.

"I'm sorry Taichou," he whispered.

Toshiro tried to shrug and winced, "I didn't dodge, my fault."

Hisagi sniffed, "It was mine. I…I lost control…Tou..Tousen was right…I'm so sorry."

Toshiro shook his head, "Kaname was an idiot."

Hisagi opened his mouth to defend his mentor and captain before remembering he was a traitor.

"It wasn't anyone's fault," Toshiro said more gently, "It's just war."

"I hate it. I hate myself for…I was enjoying it," he said disgusted.

"That's what war is," Toshiro said bitterly and he looked ancient for all that he was younger than Hisagi.

"I hate that Kaze… _I_ like it. I hate it so much."

"I'd be more worried if you didn't."

"Like it or hate it?"

"Both."


	4. Laughter is the Best Medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Tousen's death Hisagi fights to keep his shadow at bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pack fine:970 words.

Hisagi sat beside Kira on their usual bar stools, third and fourth from the left at the Wolf Den. It was a good position, far enough to the side to keep an eye out for trouble and far enough from the wall to have room to maneuver should any trouble arise.

Hisagi called for another sake and smirked openly when his friend ordered more schnapps. "Come on now you're on what? Your fourth drink? You're not gonna taste a little burn," Hisagi always teased him in this manner.

"If I'm spending money on something I want to enjoy the taste." Kira explained. Hisagi shook his head and hid a smile in his glass as he took a drink. While it wasn't actually forbidden, Tousen had frowned heavily on drinking, on any form of leisure activity really. Not that avoiding his disapproval over something so trivial made up for the captain being gone. It didn't even come close and worse than just comraderie he felt like he'd lost his anchor. Adrift. He had always known that if he lost control, if he let his shadow get too powerful Tousen would kill him before he hurt innocent people. Scary and final as the thought was it was also comforting.

Now Tousen was gone, had been for months. Initially he had dragged a despondent Kira to the Den with him to show that they were in the same boat and he didn't think the other a traitor, as time went on though and third squad was slowly 'forgiven', Kira appeared to find more of an even keel. Between that and them both being swamped with work they rarely saw each other of late. Hisagi even stopped meeting Komamaru-taichou at the monument, it just re-opened old wounds, opened the gate to anger and fear that fed the shadow, made him feel small and weak until he needed to do _something_ to take back control. Something that he'd never be able to come back from.

"Earth to Shu-aay!" Kira slurred. Hisagi blinked coming back to reality to see his friend waving a hand in his face. "Washa thinking? Yer gapin' like a koi."

He saw that his glass had been refilled and winced he must have been zoned out for a while. "I was juss' thinkin' I'm glad ya' asked me out tonight." he replied, embarrassed to hear his voice quiver at the end but drunk enough to not really care.

Kira's eyes sharpened momentarily, "More'n that."

Hisagi winced, "I miss Tousen-taichou, scared I won't be able to... be a Shinigami he would be proud of." he finished lamely well aware his tongue was getting away from him.

"He waz a damn traitor wha ya' care what he'd think?" Kira asked with surprising bluntness. Hisagi drew back in surprise, nursing his sake.

He sighed and threw the drink back in anger and self-recrimination, 'That's the point. I'm not a good person either but Tousen-taichou kept me on the straight and narrow and now..." he sighed again.

Kira shook his head throwing an arm around Hisagi's shoulder's "yer the best friend I got. Nuff this insultin' yerself an' maudlinness. Know what you need? Girls!" Hisagi was still muzzily contemplating if 'maudlinness' was a word when Kira slipped from his stool and stumbled down the bar. He swayed a little as he came to a stop in front of a woman on another stool. He tried to lean on the bar lost his balance and slumped against it with a thud. He smiled at the woman who was watching him now with a smoky chuckle. She looked amazing in a slinky red dress, no more than a couple of years older than Hisagi and with a rack to rival Rangiku's. If Kira struck out, he might have to try his luck.

"Buy ya drink," he asked. The woman nodded assent hiding stifling her laugh. "Two uh peach schnapps." he ordered. The woman was laughing again.

"See ma' friend o'er there?" Kira asked.

"Fireball," the woman ordered, still laughing and ignoring both Kira and the drink he'd ordered. Hisagi found this a bit cruel and slid off his stool, swaying a moment a little surprised at how off balance he was.

"Well ain't ya' a bitch?" Kira said with a pasted on smile like it was merely an amusing revelation. It was such a dead on impersonation of his friend's mischievous ex-captain that Hisagi stopped halfway to the 'rescue' laughing so uproariously he fell against bar. Kira met Hisagi's eye with a wink and smirk as he proceeded to the dancefloor. "So whaz a dame like ya' doin' in a den like this," he asked the first female he saw. The woman in question rolled her eyes and gyrated gracefully on. Kira undeterred slapped another girl's ass. A particularly jiggly ass that Hisagi had been keeping more than half an eye on while observing Kira's antics. The girl whipped around and decked him so hard that Kira hit the far wall. Hisagi winced and hurried drunkenly to his friend's side.

"Oh shit Kira!" Rangiku cried lowering her fist and reaching Kira at the same time as Hisagi. "Ah Kira I'm...I thought you were my ex" Rangiku began.

"Nah I 'served it, How many exes you go through in a week?" Kira replied already sitting up and clearly past feeling pain. "Kiss Hisagi better?" he asked brightly and clearly unaware of how little sense this must make to Rangiku.

"Do you want to get punched again?" she snapped walking away.

"Kiss me better?" Kira called after her. The lieutenant flipped him off as she returned to the dance floor.

Hisagi helped his friend up snickering, "You all right?"

"Fine you?" Kira asked his eyes sharpening again.

"Yeah I am," Hisagi replied surprised at the truth. " Thanks," he whispered.


End file.
